The Leadership Dilemma of Managers - The Truth Behind Closed Doors

Managers face various dilemmas in their daily work lives, but these dilemmas are rarely widely spoken.

Your title may be manager, but you are expected to be a great leader. Initially, you were excited about the role, but no one truly prepared you to manage people. Your team is expected to deliver results, yet not everyone on your team performs at the same level.

You’re expected to listen, yet sometimes you feel unheard.

You're struggling to manage your own emotions and reactions amidst overwhelming issues, yet you're expected to manage your subordinates' emotions and problems. You're encouraged to promote work-life balance, yet you can't afford that luxury yourself due to your current workload and responsibilities.

Your peers, who became your friends, are now your subordinates; the dynamics of the relationship have changed - you can’t share your challenges with them anymore. You're in a continuous game of leveling up, yet you haven't truly leveled up yourself with all the necessary skills and knowledge you need.

Sounds familiar? I hear you!

I’ve been there myself. I started managing a team of 11 in my twenties, fast forward to managing bid teams for complex deals and RFPs.

Here's what I learned throughout those years managing people in the workplace:

1.Getting to know myself at a deeper level is crucial. What triggers my emotions translates to reactions. Sometimes it’s hard to filter those reactions, therefore, I need to first manage my emotions in order to be able to manage other people.

2.Master the art of emotional intelligence. Dealing with different personalities and characters requires a high level of emotional intelligence.

3. Understand what makes a person tick. Different personalities and characters require different approaches. Understanding what motivates and drives individuals is key to inspiring them to deliver what they’re supposed to deliver.

4. Empower everyone in the team. Give them the autonomy and trust to perform their job. When adults are treated as kids, they act like kids, whereas when adults are given the freedom to perform, they normally excel.

5. Capitalize on individuals’ strengths rather than focusing on their weaknesses. Individuals in a team possess different strengths; some weaknesses can be compensated for by others' strengths - the key is to identify these.

6. Set boundaries. We all only have 24 hours in a day. It would be impossible to say YES to everything.

7. Equip yourself with the skills you need to perform your job. Take time to attend training to level up yourself to meet the demands of your job. The time invested in training will pay off in the end.

8. Master the art of providing constructive feedback as well as asking for feedback, both from your manager and subordinates.

9. Take a break. You’re not a machine, even machines have production capacity limits.

10. Be gentle with yourself. You can’t do everything that your job description and all those out-of-scope requests demand at the same time. Allow yourself to breathe and learn to prioritize.